Its not news that breaking up has got to be one of the suckiest times in our lives and I wish someone had warned me about how painful they really can be. But apparently I missed that memo. Getting back on your feet again and learning to trust someone again is a journey in itself. But ultimately break-ups lead to us understanding life, relationships and ourselves much more but despite this it’s TOUGH.
You can catch up with long lost friends, keep in touch with distant relatives, oh, and spy on what your ex is doing. With over 900 million users worldwide, Facebook is part of everyday life. But for many of us, it can torture us through a break up. One third of users admit to using Facebook to check up on old flames – possibly delaying their ability to heal emotionally and move on with their lives.
An article titled Facebook Surveillance of Former Romantic Partners: Association with Post Breakup Recovery and Personal Growth,published in Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking looked into the effects of continual Facebook contact and surveillance of an ex-partner. Studying 464 unlucky-in-love participants, researchers monitored their Facebook usage following a breakup and plotted their emotional recovery.
To counter this, the best thing to do is to talk to friends, family, and any poor soul who is willing to listen. For girls, get all your girlfriends together or get someone close to you to really listen to how you feel. Talk everything out, because it makes you feel so much better. If you are tempted to call your ex .. call your best friend instead. The worse thing that you can do is to spend time alone! Make sure you book yourself out and keep yourself busy, because you are less tempted to wallow in your own self-pity.
For the guys – Try and hang out more with your mates .. you know the ones you neglected while you had a girlfriend. They will probably welcome you with open arms, because they haven’t seen you recently anyway. You guys should do whatever you do to make you feel better. I know talking doesn’t help you as much as it helps chicks .. So engross yourself in a sport that you have forgotten, Xbox, beer, grunting … whatever makes you happy and takes your mind of your ex.
Even if you parted amicably it can be hard to cope with an emotional break-up. Accepting that someone won’t be in your life anymore can be a difficult pill to swallow but it’s important to maintain your composure and stay confident. Taking some time out and enjoying time with friends is acceptable post-boyfriend behavior but there are a few things you really shouldn’t do if you want to move on.
Don’t become a ‘All by myself’ singing spinster being eaten by Alsatians like Bridget Jones – hold you head-up high and avoid these post-relationship pitfalls….
Well, it turns out those doing a spot of digi-spying on their ex found it harder to get on with their lives. Sounds like time to do a spot of de-friending…
What do you think? Do you still check up on your ex?
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